he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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