Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
