Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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