He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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