dude i'm inner monologue high
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
