Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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