one might say we're banned from that church
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize