i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
