he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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