I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
