yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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