Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
should my penis look like a turkey
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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