btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
