I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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