If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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