Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
