my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
