you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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