the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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