Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize