Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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