that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
