so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize