Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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