we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
