you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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