I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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