I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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