I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
