you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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