Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
