I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
