his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Randomize
