why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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