I understand Curling. That high.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
