he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
