Non-Jews are for practice
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My dick has a subreddit
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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