Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
How's work?
Spinning.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
