4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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