I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
