Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
