i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize