from now on my penis is your penis
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
