I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
do nipples grow back?
Randomize