it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
