Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
