Dignity is for republicans.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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