The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
there's paper in my vomit.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
that is very illegal...i love you.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
