I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
did you just send me my own nude
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
