Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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