we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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