dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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