I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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