I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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