so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
