new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
