Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I think people are normalizing furries
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
