2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
