why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
