the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Randomize
