I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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