I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
