I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
