Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
